Unhinged Bridal Behaviour Part 2 - Cheating on The One

So, after a serious case of Dress-Shopping Fatigue Syndrome (see my last entry!) I found it. The One. The jaw-dropper and I love it. At least, I think I do. Is it normal to have a few wobbles after you've found (and might I add, paid for) The One?
After trying it on twice I loved it, really loved it - the perfect mix of sexy bride and elegant bride, rolled in to one very slinky, but still very bridal number.
The only thing niggling me is that The One is completely different to how I envisioned it. Given that we are having our nuptials in an English country garden, I envisaged myself swishing about in layers of lacy tulle, looking all English-rosy, not wedding vixen. But when it came to the crunch lace and tulle just didn't look right on me - I didn't feel sexy - and I didn't realise how important feeling sexy as well as pretty was to me, until I found The One.
Don't get me wrong, I've not gone for a split-to-the-thigh number or decided to channel Modern Family's Sofia Vergara (if only!), my dress is still very bridal, but it has just the right amount of va-va-vroom. Or so I thought, until, once my Mum had very kindly bought it for me, I cheated on it. Not just the one time - THREE times. The guilt is over-whelming, so I'm fessing up here.
I think the cheating started because I was almost determined to prove to myself that I couldn't find a dress I liked more anywhere. Then I'd know for sure that I'd found The One.
At first, I almost convinced myself I wasn't cheating. I booked an appointment at a very swanky Sydney department store under the proviso that I would be looking at accessories, shoes and veils only. Until I arrived - and once again, I was confronted by row upon row of dreamy gowns - and before I knew it I'd selected six and was in the fitting rooms, having myself an orgy of lace and tulle (why oh why can't I just let that one go!!?)
To my relief, I didn't find anything I liked more than my dress. I left feeling guilty but smug.
The second time I cheated happened during my lunch break - I found myself walking past a bridal shop and spotted a very princessy Rosa Clara number in the window - I just popped in and before I knew it, the zipper was closing and I was wearing it. Thank god the dress looked hideous on me - I actually resembled one of those toilet roll cover dolls that everyone's Nana has in their downstairs loo.
The third time, I have to confess, was pre-meditated. I saw a stunning gown - fishtail, edgy, gorgeous on a real bride in a bridal magazine so I hunted down the only store in Sydney that sells it and made an appointment. When I tried it on I loved it. Really loved it - it was gorgeous, it suited my shape and my five-foot nothing height. But the fabric wasn't quite as sumptuous as my dress. The corsetry wasn't quite as spectacular. It didn't cinch me in quite as much. I loved it, but I knew it wasn't really The One, or any nicer than The One I already had, at any rate.
I think deep-down I'm a little sad that now I've found The One, the quest is over, I won't be able to go dress shopping anymore. I'm also a little scared - what if, in three months time when I finally get my dress, I don't love it as much as I think I do. That's been a reality for a very close friend of mine - who went to collect her dress six months after ordering it then, upon trying it on, had a meltdown in the fitting room screaming 'Get me out of it, I hate this dress!'.
I'm scared of that being me. I guess it's a risk every bride takes. How can you ever really be sure you've made the right decision.

So I've stopped cheating and realised that there could always be another perfectly lovely dress that catches my eye, new dresses are coming out all the time - but I won't seek them out.

I've not told anyone about my cheating - I'm too embarrassed - but I wanted to share it with other brides to find out whether they've done the same - and I'm not quite as unhinged as I think I am.

Has anyone else out there cheated like me? I'd love to hear about it!

Yours truly, madly, deeply,

The Reality Bride xx

Dress-Shopping Fatigue Syndrome (DSFS)

Anyone in their right mind would think that, after being so desperate to buy something bridal (see Unhinged Bridal Behaviour Part 1) that being let loose in an actual bridal shop would give me the fix I needed.
And it did - for a while. Until, it seemed, I'd been to nearly every wedding dress shop in London and Sydney combined. Then, the novelty of standing around in my underwear, being laced, buttoned, pinned, squeezed and, at times, bull-dogged clipped, into well over 50 different dresses, the novelty started to wear off. And I still hadn't found The One.
I wasn't sure what I was expecting from wedding dress shopping - well, actually, I was - I envisioned lolling back on a chaise longue, sipping champagne as I was shown one breathtakingly beautiful gown after another, which all fitted me perfectly and looked frankly amazing.
I did not imagine standing under harsh strip lighting, in a room with about three other brides as we all eyeballed each other. Or being told I needed to lose a stone to wear a particular dress (thank you posh bridal shop in small village just outside London, I'm not naming names). Or being told I couldn't try on a dress I liked because it was 'over my budget'.
I'm not ashamed to admit that after THAT experience, I fantasised about doing a Pretty Woman, not the being a hooker bit of course, but barging back in there carrying a swathe of designer wedding dress bags, waving them around and booming "Big mistake, massive, huge!" before striding out again leaving an embarrassed shop assistant in my wake.
Then there was the time I was told a dress would look fine 'if I bought some Spanx and had a fake tan".
In fact, there were only a handful of shops who made the experience pleasurable and exciting - and those, the majority of which are in London, I am totally prepared to name if anyone is struggling to find somewhere that will make them feel amazing while they shop for the dress of their life.
It would have been fine, of course, if, when negotiating the dress shop minefield, I'd found The One. Or even something that was close to The One.
But 10 shops down, several weeks and a few GnTs later I was crying on my Mum's shoulder wailing "Wedding dresses just don't suit me!"
Again, it fell to my level-headed bridesmaid to point out I was suffering from Dress-Shopping Fatigue Syndrome. I had to admit she was right when, in one bridal shop, I was trying on a dress when it hit my that I'd already tried the exact same dress before and had totally forgotten.
It was time for a break, a breather, and to regroup. And then, something wonderful happened - the new 2013 bridal collections hit the shops. Fresh meat, if you will.
And when I went back to dress shopping after several weeks out of the game, first shop I went into, I pulled a dress off the rack and when I was fastened into it, I actually said 'Wow' to my own reflection.
When the changing room curtains were whisked aside, my Mum and my bridesmaid's mouths dropped open - there was no tears, just the sound of jaws dropping. And that was exactly the reaction I was hoping for. Forget tears - I wanted total knock-out. I'd found The One.
All it took was a visit to three more bridal shops to confirm it - yes, like some kind of dress-shopping sadist, I refused to believe my search was over until I had well and truly exhausted every avenue.

So, if like me, you might be suffering from Dress-Shopping Fatigue Syndrome, here are my top tips from combatting it:
1) Treat every bridal shop like it's the first time - take a deep breath and forget the past.
2) Never, ever, admit to the salesperson that you are suffering from Dress-Shopping Fatigue Syndrome -  they can smell a burnt out bride a mile off and will assume you are indecisive and then be less likely to give you the star-treatment because they will assume you are not a serious buyer. So, even if you've been to 100 shops, smile and say that you've only been to a couple so far and you are very much just starting out on your dress hunt. I found I got much better service approaching it this way.
3) Stop trying on dresses that don't suit you - after a few shops, you should get an idea of what suits you - and your shape - so of course, indulge your inner-princess at the start and try on everything, but if you are approaching burn-out, stick to what you know works.
4) Don't stand on the plinth/box they put you on for too long - you need to see how a dress looks at your true height - and being nine inches taller totally alters the perspective.
5) Say no to veils and accessories when you are trying on - it will only confuse you - the dress should stand out as the One on it's own - you can worry about the trimmings later.
6) There's always next season - November is when the new season dresses tend to show on the catwalks in London and NY - so they generally hit the shops around Dec to Jan ready for the following year. So make appts at bridal stores for when the new season drop hits - it's all about the fresh meat -  this tactic worked for me!

Hope this helps - and I'd love to hear about your dress-shopping experiences too, (might make me feel slightly less unhinged!)

Until the next time...

The Reality Bride x